Category: Uncategorized
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Getting Sobriety – Regrets vs. Resentment
One narrative that haunts both my running journey and my path to sobriety is the persistent question: Why did it take so long? Or its more insidious sibling: Why didn’t I start sooner? These aren’t just idle musings—they’re weights I’ve carried, examined, and tried to put down countless times. The standard response comes quick and…
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China Peak 50 K (September 2024) / Boney Mountain Half Marathon (September 2024)
Heading towards the second half of the summer in 2024 I decided to add two more races to my calendar to help me tune up a bit for the Kodiak 100K. A 50K in the Eastern Sierra near Shaver Lake and a half marathon in the Santa Monica mountains. Both of these I thought of…
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Getting Sobriety – It Doesn’t Come All at Once, Unless it Does.
One thing I’ve always understood about my sobriety is that it has to be on my terms, not on the world’s terms. Sobriety, to me, isn’t just the absence of alcohol or the avoidance of substances—it’s a way of reclaiming my own life and writing my own rules, even when they challenge the way society…
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Black Mountain Trail Race 25 K (June 2024) / Valley Crest 1/2 Marathon (June 2024) / Tough Mugu 25 K (July 2024) – Trying to speed it up.
Following the grueling Canyons 100 Miler, my recovery was more drawn-out than I’d anticipated, forcing me to confront the limits of my endurance in unexpected ways. For nearly a week and a half, I struggled to walk even a few steps at a time. The shin splints I’d developed during the race were deeper and…
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Getting Sobriety – Smile or You are Doing it Wrong
When I look back on my training block and my first 100-mile attempt, I’m proud—mostly for the sheer effort and the courage it took to show up and go for it. There’s something admirable about throwing oneself into something so daunting. That said, I began to realize after the race was over that both the…
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Canyons 100 m (May 2024) – Humility and triumph
Leaning into this race a few months out, something strange began to happen: I started experiencing frequent tight spasms in my chest every time I ran. I was training regularly in the LA area, and about ten minutes into each run, my chest would tighten up, almost as if it were squeezing the life out…
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Getting Sobriety – Pink Cloud Explosion
The “pink cloud” is a term often used in early sobriety to describe a euphoric phase, a time when everything feels amazing and easy, as if you’re floating in a soft, rosy haze. Not everyone experiences it, and it can hit people at different times, but when it does, it’s a magical period. For me,…
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Black Canyon 100 K (February 2024) – One step forward two steps back
After coming off a moderately successful 60k, I started feeling more confident—maybe even a bit cocky. I paid less attention to my training, assuming my fitness was where it needed to be. With about a month and a half between races, I slacked off. I knew I had a lot to learn about nutrition but…
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Getting sobriety – Realizing I am not that unique.
Whenever I had made attempts to quit drinking in the past, I often found myself stopping short for a variety of reasons. One of the most persistent thoughts was that I was beyond help, that I could never be “cured.” In my mind, I believed that I was such a unique case that no one…
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Coldwater Rumble 60k (January 2024) – Getting somewhere?
Following my 50K effort at Kodiak, something within me shifted. Up until that point, trail running and ultramarathons had been a fun, restorative, and enjoyable pursuit. While there was pain and suffering involved, the experience carried a certain whimsy that comes with starting something new. I hadn’t been putting much pressure on myself beyond the…
Bonk and Rally 